Letter to a Friend

Friends and mommy hood. Oh the glorious days of being single and not a mother, I could go and hang out with my girlfriends whenever I wanted to, no babies attached. Now don't get me wrong, I love my little nugget, but if I want to get out on my own, I gotta work something out with the hubby. Which is fine, usually he's more than wonderful and supportive that I have a social life. But very often, I am so tired, I don't really want one.

My best friend the other day asked me if I was mad at her for any particular reason, seeing as how I hadn't been around much, calling etc... Thankfully she is a very understanding person, of which I simply gave her a rundown of my day as a mother... After sending her this letter, I thought I should share this for the world, why? Cause I think it's the perfect description of the day in the life of a mommy. Anyone considering children or who have children can either laugh, cry, or mull over the fact that at some point they may or have writing a letter like this one to a friend.

Hey girl, no I'm certainly NOT upset with you about anything at all... I've honestly just been going crazy. Jasons work schedule has been insane, and has lent me very little time, so while I might post some things in passing on FB just know it's usually while I am pumping, during the day most of the time, or very late at night when I am very tired. Talking on the phone these days really takes alot out of me, and I can't exactly skype while I am pumping, unfortunately I think that would be awkward. This past weekend I was busy with chores, etc... and actually for the first time in a very long time went over to this girls house for a few hours of girl time. I was supposed to talk to Jeaney and my friend Tasida this week, and it never worked out, I either fell asleep at 9 and woke up at 11 or 12 to pump of which I am groggy and unable to communicate. I just don't want to always be frazzled when I talk to people and that's how I've been most of the time lately.

I am really sorry if you've felt neglected from it. I pretty much have no real free time to myself, and when I do I am usually eating, pumping or trying to get a nap. I also never really know when a good time is to call you, and often when you call I am feeding Benjamin or am not near my phone, and I can't jump up from pumping to get it, or am sleeping. I generally when I pump want to go online and do things that don't involve alot of personal contact, cause I am just so drained... So "liking" pics etc.. is pretty effortless, and I good way to keep up with friends.

As it was this week, I was going to bed at 11 or 12 cause I have to pump prior to going to bed, then I have to feed Ben at around 5AM sometimes earlier (not to mention he's been waking up about 3 times in the night, of which I have to get up, sooth him, and put him back to sleep), so then after I feed him at 5AM, I have to wait till he's tired enough to go back to sleep, then I have to pump, eat breakfast, and try to get a little extra sleep in myself (which usually doesn't happen cause he wakes up about an hour and a half later.) Then he has to eat again at 9:30AM, then he'll usually goes down for another nap at 11-12 and maybe sleep till 2-3 during that time I have to pump, fix and eat lunch, and do chores (cleaning and sterilizing bottles, laundry which has become an everyday event now with burp clothes and bibbs clothes that get spit up on etc... constantly needing upkeep (also the bottles and pump stuff constantly has to be cleaned and sterilized through the day.) It's like being a nanny, except I don't get to go home at the end of the day anymore...

Then I usually go online, do some mild correspondance so my friends don't think I completely don't care about them, and then try to fit in about an hour nap (from the sleep I lost the night before). Then when he gets up he eats again, and doesn't go down till 5, now I used to get a little help from Jason but lately his work has required him to go back in for PT Mon-Fri so I get maybe an hour break when he gets in (of which I use to pump and have a snack), then he goes back on Base and usually doesn't get home till 7 or 8PM, during that time Ben is up, and as you probably know, babies need constant constant attention, so he's awake until about 5PM of which I try (try being the word) to get him to take a nap for an hour so I can also have a little down time, which doesn't really happen, like yesterday he kept waking up and finally I just got him up after 30 minutes of realizing he wasn't going to take that nap... After hours of up time, and stimulating him, with toys, walking, singing, etc... I feed him a little, then I bathe him (which is every other night) and try to finish feeding him, cause if he doesn't eat enough during that time I have to get up at 2 and feed him (which is LOADS of fun). So honestly by the time he goes to bed at 8, I have to then fix dinner and eat and by 9PM I usually flop and pass out for about 2-3 hours, get up, pump, and go back to bed. And do the whole thing allll over again the next day. If anyone ever wanted to know what it's like to have a kid, that's basically it in a nutshell. Yesterday however, on top of ALL that, I cleaned the litter, swept and mopped the kitchen, did 3 loads of laundry (bens, mine, and Jasons), had to clean the bathroom after I gave Ben a bath and somehow fit in a shower for myself cause I seriously stank after 2 days of having no time to take one... Not to mention Jason and I have been making a concerted effort this week to spend at least 30 minutes together per day, taking and spending quality time together (which has been very good for our marriage which needs attention too). These days also do not include the trips I made 3 times this week to the grocery store, and target, and babies r us...
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I'm sorry if this all sounds super defensive, but I need you to understand what I do all day, why I don't call, my weekends just aren't mine anymore (because NOW Jason has to go into the office on those days too, and do mandatory work).] END

Thankfully my friend is one of my dearest friends and took the time to read all of this, and understand so kindly. Anyways I thought as a mom this was a very true depiction of an overworked mommy (which is pretty much all mommies)