Coming back from the blogging dead, it’s not easy, I really have no time anymore for myself, or to keep much of a blog. It's funny when you are pregnant, you have allll these things you WANT to do, what you actually have time to do, well that's the reality. And you cannot make yourself feel bad about it, or sit in a corner either pouting (cause that's even more counterproductive). I have just had to realize, I am a mommy, I haven't LOST my identity, which is the feeling alot of new mommies face. I am just having to focus more of my attentions away from creative ventures right now, and just try to do what I can, WHEN I can... BUT I think a good thing to do is set goals for yourself with projects, that way, you have some accountability, and you work a bit harder to have it completed at that time... But not having as much time was to be expected, and with my husbands current work schedule, it’s also equally impossible to have a full evening free to myself.
Being the wife of a Military husband, was certainly NOT something I ever pictured for myself, there are a lot of cons but there are equal amounts of pros, like health insurance, and if you have a baby, well all I gotta say is that Military benefits are amazing... and just to make you a little jealous, we paid nothing, not one penny for my babies delivery, which is pretty amazing, and I feel very lucky.
A lot of people say that having a child is the most selfless thing you can do. I don't know if I fully agree with that. Cause to me it's also the most selfish thing you can do. By having a child you must have either done something that was selfish and indulgent (yes you know what I’m talking about), or if you planned it beforehand, you must have said I WANT to have a child. So really it all boils down to what YOU wanted… Trust me the world is overpopulated, having a kid is not helping anyone out, so having a child to me, is very much both a selfish venture, and an unselfish one. Because in the long haul, your life is NO longer just your life, BUT you made that choice. Life however will forever be different... If you want to read, you have to schedule it around your childs schedule, if you want to pee even, you have to figure out where you will place your child safely for a short moment.
I have to say however, despite the complete change in my life, and having absolutely no time to breathe, and taking every nap he takes as an opportunity to make up sleep I miss every night, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, and I believe MOST parents feel that way, and probably say the same thing. Reguardless of my mood, energy level, whatever, my days are full of smiles. My baby boy is 4 months now, and is blossoming into a little man, a mommas boy for sure, but you know what, that's alright.
I do alot of things I told myself I wouldn't do, like rocking him to sleep, which in my defense I DO NOT do all the time, but on those nights when he looks into my eyes with panic when I start to place him into the crib, I choke, and sing a little song wile lulling him to rest in our glider (aka rocking chair).
I have a couple of new mommy friends who even chose to give up well respected jobs and careers for the opportunity to give their little loves more than hours full of daycare. Why? Because human life is important, and a very special thing to be a bigger part of. Sadly not all mommies CAN stay at home, or have the option, I work from home, so that was a big help. Although I certainly DO NOT bring in the cash, and we do rely pretty heavily on my husbands income. If I want special things though, I gotta earn the dough.
A huge part of having a baby, and something my husband and I are learning ourselves, is the importance of communicating effectively. NOT creating a toxic environment for our baby. This is a hard one, having a baby is hard for me, because I have a TON of previous baby experience (being a nanny for 13+ years). I always DO feel the urge to put in my two cents, when I see my kid wailing with my husband, and him not sure what to do. I sometimes just have to walk out of the room, and trust that his fatherly instincts WILL kick in, and often they do. But I think it's gotta be a challenge for the working dad. My father wasn't home very much, so the time he spent with us, was that much more precious and important that we bonded. So often when my husband is home with our baby I leave them alone together, cause I want them to have that special time together too.
Well not really sure where this blog is going so I will leave it at that, and try very hard to post as often as I can... I hope this new blogger is well received and enjoyed.
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