Sleeping through the night

I hope that while reading you will take it all to heart and at the same time with a grain of salt. I'm not trying to act like I am the most capable mother ever, cause I am not, I am just a human like everyone else, but I DO like to think I know my stuff when it comes to babies and kids, so here is how I got my baby to sleep through the night.

At around 3 months old, my husband and I decided that Benjamin could sleep through the night, safely. The trick was this, setting up a feeding schedule in the day that gave him enough ounces to sleep through the night. I used alot of wisdom and insight from a book called Baby Wise, I applied what I read and coupled it with my own experiences of work while caring for other peoples babies.

Remember, all babies are different. While reading my advice you should keep in mind your baby is not my baby, but I like to think the fundamentals are the same. In my opinion routine and consistency make for a happier baby, at least that is what I feel I have witnessed the most. It's up to a parent whether or not they really want and really try to get their baby to sleep through the night... Making sacrifices is one of those things. Giving up nights out with friends is one of them, and allowing your baby to sleep in his or her own bed, instead on in a stroller seat at dinner with friends etc... Waking up baby instead of waiting for baby to wake you up, and setting up a good feeding schedule.

Social mommies from what I have noticed DO have a harder time getting their children to sleep through the night, because their child has no consistent routine, I am now proof positive that routine works. Babies are creatures of habit, if the habit is irregular than their sleep will be the same, all over the place, and they will never know when to expect their next nap or feeding time, and neither will you. In the long run your child will have a harder time focusing on day to day activities (but remember this is just MY opinion, and is based on what I have observed from several children I have babysat for in the past), so what they live see and do, is what will be. However, going out and being more social with baby has it's positives too. You will be able to feed baby more places, as baby will learn to become less distracted by the busy world around them, as it will become the norm.

I too have to keep in mind on days that I have friends over, go out, or do anything outside of the routine, that it will effect the entire day. Benjamin will most likely be fussier, and less predictable. That's certainly NOT to say you should never go out with baby, because unfamiliar and new stimulus is very important (as said above in last paragraph). However, try (if you can) to keep social times and new experiences consistent, around the same time each or every other day, so baby can mentally prepare. Having friends over when it's baby's awake time is important to me. This is hard when friends kids have totally different schedules, etc... If you have multiple children the routine is still achievable. Baby will be familiar with it's sibling, and naps will adjust to when your other child is at school, or baby will learn to self soothe and tune out the sounds of sibling, because it will be what baby is familiar with.

It took a couple months for my husband and myself to really get into a good nap/sleep eating schedule with Baby Ben, we tried different feeding times, and different sleep times, to see what worked the best. It was and is a little trial and error, but after 3 months, baby is and can be ready to sleep through the night, you just have to make sure he/she IS getting enough to eat in the day, so the sleeping for 8-10 hours isn't hurting junior but is helping him/her, and helping you. Yes, baby doesn't just need routine, so do you... Especially for the mommy who wants to work from home, pumps, or ever wants to eat, or get any house work accomplished... And how bout that occasional nap? Not gonna happen if you don't know when to expect baby will wake up...

Does having a routine and consistency mean you won't have a life? No, in fact it will help you plan and schedule times when you can go out and do things sooo much better. However it will limit you from going out past babies bed or nap time, unless you can afford help. This means no more late night parties with your friends, baby will have to stay home, in his/her secure environment (crib, bassinet) to ensure a better nights rest. I do know plenty of mommies who take their babies everywhere, expose them to all kinds of things, and it's wonderful if you have an adaptable baby, but remember that is a totally different kind of parenting style, that yields a number of different behavior results.

Being Consistent: Alot of my friends swear their children are just fine sleeping in their stroller chair while they hang out with friends, baby will sleep fine in a chaotic and loud environment, but honestly this isn't good for baby, not as big a deal in the day, but more so at night when baby really needs solid sound sleep. In the days you can be more flexible, but it's important for your child to feel some regularity, and familiarity with his or her crib, and weaning off the bassinet and into the crib is key. Try hard not to use a swing or other lulling device, as baby will become dependant on that instead. This also applies to over holding. If you feel baby needs some kind of transitional soothing from you or a swing, use it for 5-10 minutes, or until baby is yawning and is obviously tired, but not fully asleep. Then make the switch, so baby can get used to his/her new bed. Otherwise you might wind up being one of those parents who has a hard time getting your child to sleep in his/her crib. And you do not want to be the mommy and daddy who has to drive baby around the corner 5 times just to get some shut eye yourself... Wouldn't it be easier when at nap time you can just put your baby in the crib and expect it to fall asleep on it's own? Rather than have to stroll your kid for a half an hour just to get some free time for yourself? If you value your YOU time, and ever want to get some rest, I do advise taking some of my words to heart. And recall what I said earlier: If the habit is irregular than their sleep will be the same, all over the place, and you will never know when to expect their next nap or feeding time.

Now for my child we were giving him breast milk and formula, after taking note of how long Ben would nap based on what he ate, we found giving him formula only at night helped alot, (because formula is heavier than breast milk) kept him fuller longer. Some friends and family told me to put rice cereal in his milk, DO NOT DO THIS... Your baby ONE is not ready to digest that kind of thing he/she does not have the enzymes to process hard foods. And TWO feeding your baby solids (even something as gentle as rice cereal) too soon is linked to bringing on food allergies... It's now been said that if you have a history of food related allergies in your family to stave off baby foods till month 6. Baby can live and flourish just fine off of B-milk and formula till then. So do not give into family, or friend pressure.

Also when figuring out a routine that works for your lifestyle, decide what time would you ideally like baby to go down? Keep in mind most babies need to feed every 3-4 hours, and usually will need a nap every 2 hours. As well daily activities play a part of your routine, you can mix it up a bit, but lets say after babies feeding in the morning you always read books, or sing songs, keep it that way. I cannot stress how important consistency is. Make bath time a regular thing, for us we do it every other night, around the same time 7-7:30PM. And often in between his last feeding of the day. After a half on hour of feeding he'll get down a certain amount, then we bath, and then see if he wants more, this gives his tummy a little rest time, and he usually gets more down, and that helps him sleep better.

Is my system fool proof? Of course not, no matter how much consistency and routine you put into the mix, your baby is still just that, a baby. And hello, even adults wake up periodically in the middle of the night hungry or thirsty don't they? But for me this has happened maybe once or twice in a month of perfect sleep. Perfect sleep also does not mean your baby will not fuss at some point in the night. Don't automatically assume baby is hungry, my babies bewitching hour is at 2:30AM. Which means he just needs to be reassured he's not alone, a rub on the back, stroke of the hair, and replacing his Binky is usually all he needs.

During this process of an 8 hour night of rest, there are some things you will have to be patient with, and things that will be very hard as a mommy or daddy to do. How to listen to babies cries of need and still give the tough love. I started out with the 5 minute rule. If baby had enough to eat in the day, but still woke up at night, I would initially go it to check on him right away. As you never EVER want to abandon a newbie, he/she could have a number of reasons why they are crying, so don't wait... Just take a peek in at the first sound of cry, make sure baby is safe, then sneak back out once all is clear. Then you must wait a grueling five minutes, after 5 minutes of crying, if baby is or isn't still crying, go in and check. If they are still crying, I suggest giving a loving stroke of the hand, leg, head and use your voice in a soothing way to let baby know they are not alone. Resist the urge to pick up baby on that first 5 minute visit. Also NOTE: if babies eyes are still closed, they are obviously still tired, and CAN be soothed back to sleep very quickly. After doing the soothing techniques, leave (unless babies eyes are wide open). If babies eyes are closed, you can go back out and wait another 5 minutes, if babies eyes are open, chances are they might need a change of diaper, or are just confused and think it's morning already. Try to sooth baby first, resist feeding unless you can tell that baby IS in fact super hungry, because NOT feeding baby if baby is hungry, can hurt your baby. You can also try (if baby is hungry) giving them a smaller amount of milk or formula, just to tide them over. Which is why it's important to wait at least three months, and until they are eating enough in the day to cover them through the night. If you go in and baby is laughing and smiling, it's okay to give them a loving smile, pop in the Binky, or just say, "it's sleep time" and leave the room. Most babies by month 5 do have periods of active play by themselves in their crib, and do not need to be picked up. Babies actually need some independent play, during this time they are most likely learning to roll, discover their feet and body, and are enjoying it. If you are really nervous about leaving baby to play by themselves, you can always invest in the video monitors.

NOT TO BE REDUNDANT BUT HERE IS A RECAP OF HOW TO TELL if your baby is hungry or just fussy and wants his Binky, or some other form of soothing: If your babies eyes are wide open for business, chances are their hungry, and or need a change, but if your babies eyes are still shut and he/she is wailing, they are still tired, and just need to be soothed. Binky's are my best friend, but not all people want to use Binky's, and some babies don't even like binkies. But generally I will place the Binky back in Bens mouth, situate his body to a position that is more comfy for him (especially if he's wiggled himself into the corner or end of the crib) and stroke is head, rub his back a few times. Worst case scenario, he reawakens, and I will have to rock him in his glider or a moment or two, but he always goes back down. Why does this happen, most likely from teething, which is the case with my little guy, or just the need for parental reassurance, to make sure that they are being heard, and that they feel secure.

Some other tips: Try to get baby to sleep through the night before transferring from bassinet to crib, because when you start to put baby in the crib, it's going to be a whole new challenge, and reason for baby to feel a bit restless. But if baby is already familiar with sleeping through the night it WILL make it easier to make the switch.

How we made the switch: Basically we started using the swaddle mes right away, and placed Ben on his back. But after some restless nights, we realized Ben liked sleeping on his side... Then we basically just waited until Ben grew out of the infant swaddlers and took cues from him. After the swaddlers were off, he still preferred sleeping on his side, so when we made the switch to the crib, I took some advice from Dr. Leela Denmark (Book Title:) and put a breathable padded baby comforter in his crib, with a breathable blanket my mother crocheted and stuffed them tightly into the sides of the crib to make sure it was very tightly fitted and would not come loose at any tugging and become a choking or smothering risk. Then I rolled another blanket very tightly (using bands to enforce it at the ends so it would not come unrolled or loose, and placed in in a U shape around his little head and body so he would have the same secure snuggly feeling he had in his bassinet. Although this kinda thing is advised against, it was what worked for us, and never posed as a hazard, and as long as you check in on baby there really is nothing to worry about. To make it easier you can put baby close to you in a pack n' play during the transition, or sleep in the same room on a twin bed (like myself).

In the end, remember what kind of parent you wanted to be for 9 months, if you don't mind a little irregularity, great, if you like structure and thrive off of it, that is what will be good for you. It's not always about baby, sometimes baby also has to adjust to his or her parents. As long as you and baby are happy, that's all that matters, but if you do notice baby is not happy very often, it could be a lack of consistency with what you are doing, perhaps he/she doesn't thrive off of the same thing you thrive off of. And in the end you DO need to work for babies best interest.

Well that's all the advice I have to give on this subject, hope some mommies out there can take what they want from it, and I hope I helped.